Objection!

All parties define it as this:

My cousin will be running the Brooklyn Half Marathon this Saturday, May 19.  This is quite the accomplishment, as at the age of 23, she had major hip surgery last year.  Being the amazing person she is, she is using her accomplishment to help others.

She and her running buddy have chosen to use their efforts to raise money for Youth Consultation Services (YCS), an organization dedicated to partnering with at-risk and special needs children, youth, and young adults who are separated from their families in order to build happier, healthier, more hopeful lives within families and communities.  YCS provides a broad variety of services to at-risk and special needs children, including their initiative to provide these children with the summer camp experience. $75 covers all expenses for one day of camp for a child, but any amount helps.

If you’d like to donate, you can do so here.  Or, if you could just reblog, it’d be awesome.

Layperson Definition:

1.  A lifetime commitment between people who love one another.

2.  A basic human right.

3.  A sacred religious rite to be performed only between a man and a woman that will somehow be cheapened if it recognizes love between same sex couples. (esp. ignorant and/or unintelligent people)

4.  The basis of all society that is and always has been about the romantic love between a man and a woman, entering into a union for the purpose of having children.  Families that do not involve the marriage of one woman to one man are necessarily of lesser value. (esp. ignorant and/or unintelligent people)

Lawyer/Law Student Definition:

1.  A term uniformly used to describe both a religious rite and a legal institution that provides formal recognition and a constellation of rights to individuals in a committed relationship.

2.  A basic human right.

3.  A basic civil right that should be legally recognized and enforced.

(Source: lawwords)

Layperson Definition

An awesome show that accurately depicts the American criminal legal system and provides insightful commentary on a variety of legal issues.

Lawyer/Law Student Definition

1.  That show that makes my non-lawyer friends and families think they know things about how the legal system works.

2.  A gross misrepresentation of the American criminal justice system, complete with representing the Constitution in the most unflattering light possible and the suggestion that most criminal issues end in trials where the accused has a really awesome but morally bankrupt attorney.

3.  A really entertaining show that’s great for spotting procedural and substantive due process violations and giggling at the over-simplification of complex legal controversies.

4.  A show with a single redeeming quality: making Miranda rights an essential part of our legal system by ensuring that many Americans actually have them memorized.

(Source: lawwords)

Have a term that needs to be defined? Submit a Request for Production of Documents.

Have a burning question?  Serve a Set of Interrogatories

Come on, Guys!  I don’t have a summer associate to do it for me!

Layperson Definition

1.  describing behavior that is morally/socially acceptable.

2.  describing behavior lawyers and those in the financial markets are incapable of.

Lawyer/Law Student Definition

1.  describing behavior that adheres to the model/state code of conduct required for lawyers and judges in each of the states.

2.  describing behavior that exceeds the incredibly low bar set by the model/state code of conduct required for lawyers and judges in each of the states.

3.  describing the standard to which you hold yourself that, being too high, caused you fail or barely pass the MPRE.

(Source: lawwords)

Layperson Definition

1.  A person who sees a crime happen and then tells a jury about it.  And even though they’re nervous, they’re really good at it and the judge lets him/her tell his/her whole story and it’s powerful and moving and guarantees justice.

Ex: The prosecution’s key witness in every episode of every Law and Order ever (except the handfull of episodes where they try to show how the State loves justice and it’s defendant/Constitution friendly)

2.  A person who is inexplicably expert about something who the judge lets testify based on some wisecrack who blows open the case and wins it for everyone.

Ex: Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny (best law movie ever, btw).

3.  A person who has been extremely well prepared by the attorney for the side they are testifying for so that they are totally ready for everything.

Ex: Pretty much any witness in the show Damages.

Lawyer/Law Student Definition

1.  A regular human being who currently has their real life going on, on top of the pressure of being important to what is likely someone else’s case for money damages, since criminal issues rarely go to trial.  You can try to prep, but at the end of the day there’s really not much you can do other than tell them to just tell the truth—which they will likely do in the most defensive way possible, resulting in questions about their veracity.

Ex: Cross examining attorney asks yes or no question, Witness: “Well, I don’t know if I would say it like that.  What I meant to say—” Abruptly cut off by judge and/or counsel for being non-responsive.

2.  A person who will likely only be able to testify to about 1/2 of what you want from them based on the likelihood of opposing counsel’s objections being sustained.

(Source: lawwords)

Layperson Definition

1.  Any and all large business entities, all of which are super evil, publicly traded, and OUT TO GET YOU!

2.  An entity with the sole purpose of getting your money and/or otherwise screwing you that, in concert with all the other corporations, runs our country and our lives.

3.  An entity that should clearly NOT be a legal person because being a legal person basically means that they get to have all the privileges of being human without any of the consequences.

Lawyer/Law Student Definition

1.  A specific form of business organization created by the law which allows the entity to exist as an independent legal entity.  Those with ownership interests enjoy extremely limited liability in exchange for the business’ income being double taxed.  The majority of these forms of business are closely held companies.

2.  A specific form of business organization subject to a variety of rules and regulations including reporting requirements and various statutory and common law requirements regarding conduct.  Such rules and regulations are enforced with a variety of penalties, up to and including forced dissolution.

3.  Any and all large business entities, all of which are super evil, publicly traded, and OUT TO GET YOU!

(Source: lawwords)

Holy crap, you guys.  Thanks for the support.  I’d do some sort of give away but I’m a super broke baby lawyer, and the only things you guys would be interested in (booze, Schedule A drugs, anti-anxiety meds, my bar prep materials) would involve violating federal law in getting them to you.

In any case, if any of you have a term you’d like defined, submit a Request for Production of Documents.  Questions you’d like answered (NO I WILL NOT GIVE YOU FREE LEGAL ADVICE ON THE INTERWEBZ!)?  Serve a Set of Interrogatories!

(can’t believe I hadn’t already done this one)

Layman’s Definition

1.  A really smart person who is confident and generally awesome at public speaking.

2.  A person who has infinite understand of all of the laws everywhere and can immediately provide you with a definitive answer to whatever legal question you ask them.

3.  A scummy asshole who will make your problem as complicated as possible in order to rip you off.

4.  A super rich person with a sick car and the ability to smooth talk his or her way out of anything.

Law Student Definition (entering students, 1Ls and 2Ls, mostly)

1.  The ultimate aspiration.

2.  A person who has dedicated his or her life to the pursuit of justice.

3.  A super rich person with a sick car and the ability to smooth talk his or her way out of anything.

Lawyer Definition (including 3Ls, bar takers, and associates pending bar passage)

1.  A masochist with a nasty streak of self hate and some form of personality disorder on top of some hefty substance abuse issues.

2.  A person who happened to graduate law school and pass the bar exam.  Intelligence, public speaking skills, and written communication skills are not necessary.  Basic social skills and an understanding of the rules of etiquette are equally optional.

3.  A person who cannot find a legal job, is strapped with debt in the six figures, and lives in a crappy apartment with four other miserable lawyers.

(Source: lawwords)

Layman’s Definition

1. A formal examination of evidence by a judge, typically before a jury, in order to decide guilt in a case of criminal or civil proceedings.

2. The way almost all legal matters end, especially when it comes to crimes.

3.  Something that happens about four seconds after someone gets a lawyer, like on Law and Order and other law shows.

4.  What all lawyers do all the time.

Lawyer/Law Student Definition

1.  The thing you are trying to avoid at all costs unless you are a litigator.

2.  A giant pain in the ass that only occurs after months if not years of settlement negotiations and bullshit discovery.

(Source: lawwords)